Just stumbled across your Substack. I'm also child free by choice, now 46, and thinking of writing about this topic more (my substack is all about women's health and wellbeing as a menstrual and hormone health coach - yes I am a child free menstrual cycle coach)!
Anyway when I saw your reason number one, I was like "BOOM" thats it. This is also my main reason and I 100% agree it is the only reason you need. I always put it like this: if it's not something I truly want, there is absolutely no reason I should do it. All the reasons people often say, like "who's gonna look after you when your older" etc are IMO terrible reasons to have children.
As a 69 year old women with 2 adult children who are not having kids. I understand every single reason you listed. These two being of mine are my greatest joys and greatest sorrows. If I did not ever know if them, would I do it? Probably not. I honestly did now how I did it!
Number 1 is my strongest reason. Nothing inside of me craves motherhood. And I think I lack the patience too. I have babysat my sister's kids and half the time I was taking whooosah moments just to remind myself that they are just children. 😂
I used to tell people number one in those terms - I got a lot of 'that's just not natural' but I knew my own mind and my own limitations so I never cared.
Thanks Caroline, it's really nice to hear support from a parent. Likewise, I have a lot of respect for parents too. I know I'm not tough enough for it.
I totally believe that for some people something biological can kick in, either if they fall pregnant or meet someone who brings that out in them. I remember reading something about Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes, and how neither was really thinking about children but then realised they wanted children with each other. Maybe if I'd met someone other than my husband, I might have come to feel differently, who knows?
Just stumbled across your Substack. I'm also child free by choice, now 46, and thinking of writing about this topic more (my substack is all about women's health and wellbeing as a menstrual and hormone health coach - yes I am a child free menstrual cycle coach)!
Anyway when I saw your reason number one, I was like "BOOM" thats it. This is also my main reason and I 100% agree it is the only reason you need. I always put it like this: if it's not something I truly want, there is absolutely no reason I should do it. All the reasons people often say, like "who's gonna look after you when your older" etc are IMO terrible reasons to have children.
As a 69 year old women with 2 adult children who are not having kids. I understand every single reason you listed. These two being of mine are my greatest joys and greatest sorrows. If I did not ever know if them, would I do it? Probably not. I honestly did now how I did it!
Number 1 is my strongest reason. Nothing inside of me craves motherhood. And I think I lack the patience too. I have babysat my sister's kids and half the time I was taking whooosah moments just to remind myself that they are just children. 😂
I feel exactly the same. It's not something I've ever felt a pull towards and I think that's reason enough not to do it.
I used to tell people number one in those terms - I got a lot of 'that's just not natural' but I knew my own mind and my own limitations so I never cared.
Absolutely! You know yourself better than anyone else. I know I wouldn't be able to cope with a lot of things that come with parenting.
Thanks Caroline, it's really nice to hear support from a parent. Likewise, I have a lot of respect for parents too. I know I'm not tough enough for it.
I totally believe that for some people something biological can kick in, either if they fall pregnant or meet someone who brings that out in them. I remember reading something about Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes, and how neither was really thinking about children but then realised they wanted children with each other. Maybe if I'd met someone other than my husband, I might have come to feel differently, who knows?