Whoâs behind this Substack?
Hello, Iâm Erin. đđ»ââïž Iâm 38, married, happily childfree and live in London, UK.
Writing has been a creative and emotional outlet for me since I was a child, and something Iâve done professionally since 2003; but for a while now I havenât always liked what I see in mainstream journalism. Itâs too fast-paced with the insatiable appetite online, thereâs far too much click-bait, and things get twisted way too easily. Itâs not what I thought I was signing up to when I decided to pursue a writing career.
Over the years Iâve written about music, theatre, dining and travel, all of which I still love deeply, but these days I feel compelled to also give a voice to the childfree community. To use my words to try to chip away at something bigger, one of the last taboos and final hurdles of feminism; to change the conversation for and about those of us who donât have children, whether thatâs through choice (like me) or circumstance.
Iâll write about life in general as a childfree woman but also other topics that filter in, like family, friends, work, love, travel, hobbies, expectations etc. Hopefully youâll see yourself in some of the pieces I write and weâll get to know each other along the way.
This is definitely not about judgement of parents or children, or the idea that a childfree life is better. A life with or without children isnât better than the other, theyâre just different experiences.
Donât be afraid to comment or email me back too, I love a good chat! đ
A little more personal stuffâŠ
Iâm a life-long lover of music (especially bluegrass, country and acoustic singer-songwriter types), theatre, travel (favourites so far are Melbourne, Key West, Vancouver and Stockholm), dining out, cats (fulfilling the childfree stereotype), Christmas, long walks, tea (but not English breakfast âïž), plants, Friends and Frasier.
Currently enjoying more recently discovered passions for coffee, yoga, films that arenât all rom-coms or Disney (Iâm aiming to watch at least one a week in 2024), and cooking, alongside re-discovering the joy of playing flute.
Why is it called Curiously Childfree?
In short, the double meaning seemed appropriate.
To be curious can mean being eager to learn, to know more, to discover. So many childfree people that I talk to tell me that something they love most about their life is the freedom to explore the world, to study, to have experiences and live a life others often canât. And thatâs certainly a big thing that I love about my childfree life too.
The flip side of the wordâs meaning is to be seen as strange or unusual, which is still very much how society views childfree people, especially those who find themselves childfree by choice rather than circumstance.
Why create Curiously Childfree?
Not having children remains a pretty big taboo and itâs time that changed.
I can hardly remember a time where I didnât say I wasnât going to have children.
When you make that declaration as a girl before youâve even hit your teens, everyone is keen to tell you youâre too young, will change your mind when you meet the right man, or your body clock will make the decision for you. But I still havenât changed my mind, I have met the right man, and I think my body clock must be broken.
This Substack is here to support the childfree community but to also encourage positive and inquisitive conversations between others who may be âon the fenceâ about having children, and to help people who want to better understand their childfree friends.
Itâs easy to say âstop judging meâ when people criticise your choice to not have children, but the truth is, weâve all at some point questioned a decision we donât understand or have no experience of. Seriously, you wouldnât believe the amount of times Iâm met with an exclamation of, âWhat do you mean, you donât like peas?! Everybody likes peas!â đ±
If not liking peas can cause so much confusion, imagine what itâs like when you go against a major societal norm, life milestone and family expectation.
Shutting down the conversation and getting defensive isnât helpful, it doesnât help people to understand, and then the conversation never changes.
What I write here is intended to keep communication open, honest, curious and most importantly, judgement-free. People wanting to ask questions and discuss things is fine, itâs how we learn, but the tone of the conversation is what can change everything.
Why choose the paid subscription?
Currently my content is free to access but in the not-to-distant future some articles will be behind a paywall. Some of my articles will remain remain free to access because I donât think putting them all behind a paywall will help to spark or change conversations.
But writing takes a lot of time and practice, and itâs becoming more and more common for media outlets to either not pay or only offer mediocre rates. I think writers should be paid just like any other job, but, that said, with a paid subscription youâll also get access to extra content:
Read and comment on all posts.
Guest posts - all will be archived for you to access any time too.
Regular discussion threads, where you can share your stories and experiences, and connect with other childfree, or childfree-curious people.
Can I subscribe if Iâm a parent?
Of course! Whether youâre curious about what childfree living is like, or youâre just hear for the restaurant, travel, theatre and music recommendations, youâre more than welcome to join the conversation.
Lastly, didnât you used to run The Childfree Lounge membership?
Yes, I did. That was essentially the first version of this but after almost a year of the Lounge, I decided to move things over to Substack and have a bit of a re-brand.
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Thank you!! đ
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